To Match or Not to Match

A couple weeks ago I decided to join match. com. Why you ask? Because I wasn't finding quality guys in the city (shocking I know) and I though this might be an avenue to do that. Turns out this is a very time consuming prospect. SO to save everyone some time I've put together a list of tips for guys (or girls I suppose) when it comes to meeting up with someone or emailing them for the first time.

Tip 1. Don't call me your baby girl-nothing good will come of this I can assure you.

Tip 2. If you're more than a decade older or 3 years younger than me I'm not interested. Sorry 60 year old man, you're old enough to be my dad and unless you look like George Clooney I'm not into it. (Bonus points if you actually ARE George Clooney).

Tip 3. Show up to the date on time-this is VERY important especially if the date is already time-limited (like a lunch date). Its very inconsiderate to show up 15 minutes late and shows me your also bad at managing your time. I'm very busy and if I made time in my schedule for you, you had better do the same.

Tip 4. Talk once you get there. I get it. I used to be shy. I know its hard to open up to someone you don't really know but really I can hold a conversation with myself some other time.

Tip 5. Arrive on time-Have I already mentioned this? That's because its important. You will not get a second date if you're more than 5 minutes late without a really good excuse (just waking up does not count).

Tip 6. Speaking of just waking up. If the date is at noon and you show up 15 minutes late wearing your pj's when i spent time on my appearance, don't expect a second date.

Tip 7. Don't email me and ask me to go out that night. My schedule is booked 2 weeks in advance. I'm not even joking.

Tip 8. Do not insinuate my marathon medals are not real medals because I did not win the race-especially if you've only ran one and didn't qualify for Boston. You won't win me over that way.

Tip 9: Don't call repeatedly after the date. If I don't answer I'm either a) busy, b) not interested, c) not a phone person, or d) all of the above.

Tip10: If we're meeting at a place that you are aware has a shortage of seating (think most coffee places) arriving early to snag a table earns you like a million points. Arriving 20 minutes late and making me wait outside in the cold will guarantee no second date.

Tip 11: The guy should pay. It's old fashioned but that's really how it is. If I have to pay or even explain this one, the odds of a second date are very slim.

Maybe these seem harsh but really if you're not trying on the first date will you be trying in 6 months? Probably not.