Intervention

I volunteered in the nursery at church one day during service. The other volunteer, "Josh" chatted with me for all 2 hours of the service. Afterwards he invited me out with a group of his friends to have a picnic on the mall. By the time I got home I had a Facebook friend request from him. The next night we talked for 3 hours about family, religion, and other deep stuff. Sounds good right? Cute guy who goes to church and clearly wants to talk to me. The only yellow flag that came up was that he kept asking if I would move for someone to North Dakota and that despite being 30 he'd only had 1.5 girlfriends. ever. Trying not to judge about his choice  to consider a plain state as a proper place to live and his lack of girlfriends I carried on the conversation.

 

"How does one have half a girlfriend?" "Well she was immature." "um..ok"

 

He asked me if I had a boyfriend and why not and then at the very end of this very long conversation he says "I hope I haven't lead you on but I have a girlfriend."

 

Um ok then why were you talking to me for several hours both online and in person two nights in a row?

 

In the following weeks this guy did the same thing to most of my girl friends at church. He even emailed several of them the exact same email after chatting with him.

 

Clearly an intervention is needed.

how r u

Ladies,

We've seen this happen time and time again. You date or non-date a guy and break up. 2 weeks to 12 years later he eventually contacts you. always. 99.9% of the guys I've dated have done this.

Here are a few possible reasons men send the inevitable, "how r u" text out of nowhere.

(in no particular order)

1. You hooked up once and he wants to keep the option open. However ridiculous and impossible (months, maybe even years have gone by - it doesn't matter). Bonus, if you don't live anywhere near him. Extra points if you're not living in the same country.

2. He is bored.

3. He is currently with or has recently broken up with someone who he views as a crazy person (wife or gf). He thinks back to the non-crazies from his past.

4. He has unsuccessfully tried to stalk you on facebook.

5. You are not on facebook (or he can't find you) so google is the next best thing.

6. He has googled you and confirmed that there are no photos on the web that show you have 'let yourself go,' and in his mind, this means you are still hot.

7. He is bored.

8. He is visiting or has moved near where you currently live.

9. You are still the BEST hes ever had and he has now fully realized his irrecoverable mistake.

10. He's horny

11. He's lonely

12. He realizes that although he may not want to date you (or you don't want to date him) you can still be friends. Then he thinks friends = friends with benefits.

13. Maybe he feels bad for the way things ended and only sex can fix that.

14. You haven't returned any previous texts therefore you are a "challenge"

15. He finds out you've moved on

Stay strong ladies when you receive this text. If he didn't stick around the first time none of these reasons are enough for him to stick around the second time..or third...or fourth....